Submission

Hi Sweetheart,

hmm today I went dancing. To be precise I was learning Kizomba with We Dance Lusaka. Side note, how dead is Arcades yoh!. Anywho. So the last time I tried Latin dance it was a dizaster. Okay. It felt like I have two left feet which is so painful because I love to dance. The soul is willing yet the body refused. So today, I was ready to legit be a wallflower and kind of just observe in a dark corner somewhere.

When I got there the class had already started so I was already playing catch up. Anyway I went for a good time. Then we started going round in a rotation to exchange dance partners as we practiced the moves we were learning. And each time I just felt obligated to apologise for my beginnerness. And each time they said you are fine. Then we split up into two groups advanced and beginners ...where I was. Jay taught us the basics then we got to practice again.

It was sooo interesting because the more and more I danced the more I started to understand instructions, cues and body language. Literally speaking with your bodies. Okay at first they did have to count for me then eventually I had to just follow. Jay said to me relax. I didn't even know I was tense. So I let go and allowed myself to be led.

I have never been one to practice submission. Clearly, I have never been in a relationship so no surprise there hey. But you see submission for me has always been this burdensome chore. As an alpha, it is so difficult not to assume that position in whatever space I find myself in. It feels like losing control. Submission feels like loss of free will. Submission requires utter trust in whoever is leading you. But in the back of mind I am thinking this dude is going to lead me astray.

Well that is what I actually thought until today...

Today I let go and chose to trust that whoever I was dancing with knew what he was doing. In fact he made look good because he twirled me around and my dress went woosh. And he was always there to catch me when I came out of a twirl for stability and support. You know. By the way I made plenty mistakes but each and every time he said you are doing good, and we continued. He patiently guided, taught me, showed me what to do, how to do it better. He didn't shout at me or reprimand me or shame me. He just was just present. With me every step of the way. I finally get it.

This is what submission is

When God asks us to practice submitting here on earth through the relationships we have, it is so that you can understand and know how to submit to God. Just imagine you are dancing with God one on one. God is the lead and your job is to follow. Oh honey God will tell you to go left or right, under or rock back and forth in the same position. You actually do not know where God is leading you next but you know without a doubt that God wants to make you look good. His instructions are not always verbal. In fact the more you dance with God, the more you are in sync with each other. You can feel what He wants you to do. The prompts, the instructions, the nudges are subtle, so you have to be paying attention. How beautiful it is that God desires to dance with me, with you for eternity in perfect harmony.

But let's keep it real. In real life God tells us to go right, but we decide to go left. God tells us to stay still and we decide we are going to help Him and anticipate what is coming next, then we end up falling on our face. Then we get mad talking about "God wasn't there when I needed him." God is looking at you like "I gave you instructions but you didn't submit honey. But it's okay because we can course correct to still make you look good but you gotta submit. Otherwise, we are going to continue looking like dancers out of wack. And guess what? Imma be here until you are ready to let me lead. I will always be here."

Thank you God. Thank you.

Let Go and let God. Submit

Mhm needless to say, I had the most fabulous time at the Kizomba class. I danced with every body. And someone even asked me for my number. Cecie will not be happy because I said no. Story for another day. I really just wanted to share what I learned today.

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See you there.

Love

Chulu